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Here is
your February ResidentAssistant.com newsletter!In this issue, you will find the following:
-O-
RECOGNITION
DAY!WHAT ARE YOU
DOING?
-O- RA BOOK UPDATE – NOW TAKING
PREORDERS… PUBLICATION INAPRIL!
-O- FEBRUARY DATES AND PROGRAMMING ISSUES
-O- LEADING BY LISTENING! –
Article by Professor Joe Martin
-O- SITE UPDATES
-O- NEWSLETTER NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE
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-O-
RECOGNITION DAY!WHAT
ARE YOU DOING?
The
first annual “International Residence Hall Student Staff
Recognition Day” is this February 16.Housing staff all over the US and Canada are recognizing
their student staff on this day.If you have an idea for recognition that is not listed on
the website, let me know!If
you are a student staff member, and your supervisors don’t know
about this, direct them to the website, or forward them this
message!
/archive/recognitionday/index.htm
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-O-
RA BOOK UPDATE: PREORDERING AVAILABLE, PUBLISHING IN APRIL!
This
is the FINAL CALL FOR STORIES for this new inspirational,
motivational and humorous residence hall
staff book!Amy
Connolly and myself are now working with Tony D’Angelo, the
author of “The College Blue Book,” and
the #1 contributing author of “Chicken Soup for the College
Soul.”The book
will be published in April by The Collegiate EmPowerment Company,
Inc.We are taking
preorders now at a discounted rate.See the website for more details on submitting your stories
and preordering the book, as well as the contest for the book
title.
/archive/inspiration/index.htm
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-O-
FEBRUARY DATES AND PROGRAMMING ISSUES
ISSUES:
---
Fall housing decisions
--- Cabin fever
--- Burn out
--- Job anxiety begins
--- Summer job worries
--- Academic pressures increase
--- Social Calendar is less active
--- Excitement/anxiety over spring break plans
--- Relationships either get stronger or weaker...pressure for
Valentines day
--- Health related issues (increased drinking to relieve stress,
irregular diets) *Thinking about summer jobs, internships, etc.
--- Pressure to declare a major
FEBRUARY
DATES:
---
February is: Black History Month, National Dental Month, National
Heart Month, Vegetation Month, Potato Lover's Month, Creative
Romance Month, Celebration of Chocolate Month, Canned Food Month,
International Friendship Month, International Twit Award Month
---
Feb 2: Groundhog Day
--- Feb 5: Chinese New Year
--- Feb 12: Lincoln’s Bday!
--- Feb 13: Get a Different Name Day
--- Feb 14: St. Valentine’s Day
--- Feb 14: Maha Shivaratri (Hindu)
--- Feb 15: Nirvana (Buddhist)
--- Feb 17: Random Acts of Kindness Day
--- Feb 19: National Cherry Pie Day
--- Feb 21: President’s Day
--- Feb 22: Washington’s Birthday
--- Feb 23 – 29: Eating Disorders Awareness Week
--- Feb 25: Quiet Day
--- Feb 26: Intercalary days (Baha’i)
--- Feb 27: Polar Bear Day
--- Feb 28: Public Sleeping Day
--- Feb 29: Leap Year
--- Feb 29: Bachelor’s Day
For more dates, go to: /archive/calendar/index.htm
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-O-
LEADING BY LISTENING!
"You’re
not listening to me."
"Did you even hear a word that I said?"
"You’re missing the point."
"Why do I even bother trying to communicate with you?"
If
you have half a pulse, and you’ve actually interacted with other human beings, then you’ve either uttered some of
these words to someone in total frustration, or worse, someone has
uttered them to you with equal disdain.
There
are a lot of things that can cause you to go "postal" as
a student leader, from irresponsible staff members to apathetic
faculty members. But nothing seems to hurt us more to the core
than when our ideas and concerns are blatantly ignored or
attacked.
Think
about it…remember the last time you came up with a
suggestion that could possibly increase student involvement, save
the organization money, prevent a PR nightmare, or even make an
event more successful? Then what happened? You and your ideas were
either ignored like last year’s losing lottery ticket or they
were attacked like they were a threat to national security.
Next
to breathing, being heard and sincerely listened to is one of our
deepest human emotional needs. When someone really gets your
message and "feels you," you feel valued and
appreciated. And when they don’t listen to you, you feel
unimportant and disregarded. Ever since we were kids, we’ve been
striving to be heard, seen, and acknowledged. And although we
don’t cry about it like babies anymore when we’re ignored, the
pain is just as real today as it was then.
Ironically,
when students usually ask me about becoming amore effective communicator, most want to know things like how
to overcome the fear of public speaking or how to become more
assertive and persuasive in a debate. To their surprise, I
always tell them that the courage to speak must also be matched by
the wisdom to listen. Let’s face it, if you’re going to
be an effective student leader, you must first master the art of
listening before you can master the art of leadership. A leader
without any followers is just a person taking a long walk…alone.
As
I mentioned earlier, listening is at the core of our being; it’s
also the most frequent form of communication among humans. We
spend more than 75% of our waking hours listening, but less than
1% of our school time learning about it. I’m no math genius, but
those numbers don’t reflect good common sense.
If
you want your ideas and concerns to be heard and valued, you must
first be willing to appreciate the ideas and concerns of others.
It all starts with effective listening skills. The truth of the
matter is that when you speak, you only know what you know, but
when you listen, you learn what others know. Listed below are
eight proven strategies you can use to become a more effective
listener, thus improving your effectiveness as
a student leader:
1.Listen with your heart, not just your head.
Some
people have turned "fake listening" into an art form,
with their orchestrated nods, perfectly-timed "okays,"
and "you’re rights." No one likes to talk to
someone who’s mind is always somewhere else other than in their
conversation. Listen "in the moment’ by stopping
whatever you’re doing, facing the person, and giving the person
direct eye contact.
2.Don’t just be interesting, be interested.
If
you really want to give someone your undivided attention, listen
so you can ask questions about what they’re saying. Watch how
the other person responds when you demonstrate not only that you
heard him, but you understood him as well.
3.Take action to avoid distractions.
Hunger
cramps, fatigue, television noise, music, cold temperature, time
pressures, slang, and several other factors are all considered
communication barriers. Try to eliminate as many of them as
possible "before" you engage someone in a
conversation.
4.Persistently practice patience.
We
can hear twice as fast as we speak, and this usually causes us to
become easily bored. This explains why some teachers can cure
insomnia. Don’t ever rush the speaker to "get to the
point" (regardless how tempting it is). Try to
listen for benefits that will serve you and your goals. You can
start by always asking yourself, "What can I learn from this
person?"
5.Keep your mind open and your mouth shut.
Nothing
stops us from listening quicker than an opinion that is in total
opposition to our own. Hold your judgement, and try your best to
look at the situation from "their" point of view. Even a
broken clock is right twice a day. You’re not always right…but
they’re not always wrong either.
6.Listen between the lines.
We’ve
all heard the saying, "It’s not what you say, but how you
say it." To take this cliché even a step further, it’s
also what they "don’t say" that can be just as
important. Make sure what people say and "don’t
say" to you are consistent with their body language, eye
movement, tone of voice, and speaking rate. Focus on the
content, not just the character. Avoid stereotyping people
based on how they sound. Southerners are not "always"
less intelligent, a person who speaks French is not "always"
more romantic, someone who uses slang is not "always"
uneducated, and so on. Listen to the person, not the
dialect. If you don’t understand, ask for clarification.
8.Put your ego on hold.
The
next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone,
pretend you’re both on a huge stage in front of a thousand
people. Whenever one of you speaks, the spotlight is focused on
that person. Your goal is to keep the spotlight off you as much as
possible. You can only do this by listening.
As
with any other skill, listening takes practice, patience, and
persistence. If you focus on mastering these eight strategies, you
are well on your way to becoming a student of influence. Not every
good listener is an effective leader, but believe me, every
effective leader is a good listener. So get going and start
leading by listening.
Thanks
to Professor Joe Martin for this article! Professor Martin
is the founder and president of RealWorld University, a site I
worked with him to build. (http:www.rwuniversity.com
) – It is one of the largest college student success sites on
the Internet. Joe is also an amazing speaker! (1999 College
Speaker of the Year.)If
any of you are interested in booking him, I can put you in contact
with him! (email me)He
teaches communications andpublic
relations at the University of
West Florida in Pensacola, Florida.
If
you are interested in submitting an article for publication on the
site or in this newsletter, please let me know! Email Me
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-O-
NEWSLETTER NOW ONLINE!
To
read this and future newsletters online, go to: /archive/newsletter
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-O-
SITE UPDATES!
Remember
to check out the “what’s new” page for all updates and new
information! Have a great February!If you have any questions or comments about this
newsletter, please email me!If you would like to write an article to be published,
please contact me as well!
Take
care,
Dan
Oltersdorf
ResidentAssistant.com – The Rx for RAs!
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