Geekhoroscopes

Libra

Sep 23 - Oct 23

Listening skills will prove painfully important this week when you are advised on what to wear to a Microsoft banquet. "Dressed nicely, like in a tux," Is worlds away from what you hear: "Dressed nicely, as Tux."

Scorpio

Oct 24 - Nov 21

You may want to hold off on doing that.. you know... until next week. The conjunction of Mars and the Big Dipper this week is not conducive to doing... you know.

Sagittarius

Nov 22 - Dec 21

After three reinstalls, maybe you should look for the problem elsewhere. Are you sure that cable is plugged in?

Capricorn

Dec 22 - Jan 19

You spend more time chatting with the IRC chatbot than real people this week. Surprisingly, you feel much less frustrated than normal.

Aquarius

Jan 20 - Feb 18

Better get an early start on your Halloween costume, you want to be the best looking Frederick the Dancing Maggot at the party, don't you?

Pisces

Feb 19 - Mar 20

Your prospects for Governor of California look dim as the latest poll has you at -34%.

Aries

Mar 21 - Apr 19

You'll spend the better part of a week trying to convince Southern Hemispherites that it's now fall and not spring, until you realize they're in a different time zone.

Taurus

Apr 20 - May 20

Better start brushing your teeth again, only a few more weeks until Halloween.

Gemini

May 21 - June 21

The ladies won't be impressed that you've processed your spent fuel rod 8,017 times. You might want to keep that little fact to yourself.

Cancer

June 22 - July 22

People just don't need to rent Zambonis in Hawaii. Give up the dream.

Leo

July 23 - Aug 22

Sure, you're used to the "nice mask" comments all year long even though you aren't wearing one, but this time of year it gets ridiculous. Better go into hiding under the bridge.

Virgo

Aug 23 - Sep 22

People laughed at you when you told them you spent more money on your computer than on your car. The stars just want you to know that they're laughing too.