Hall Director Stress Recipe

1 lost key
2 removed screens
2 propped doors
4 broken water heaters
10 reports of vandalism
15 wild parties
4 roommate conflicts
1 flooded bathroom
6 open containers
3 vomiting residents
3 calls to security
4 false alarms
4 counts of late paperwork
1 fist fight in the front of the building
3 closet doors found in the hall way
6 obnoxious overnight guests
5 reduced sleep nights
3 days behind schedule
9 rooms with loud heavy music

Depending upon the duration and the intensity of the stress that you wish to inflict upon yourself:

Blend any 2 ingredients (1 per weekday night)
Or any 5 ingredients (per weekend night)
With 500 co-ed residents
Toss in lack of sleep
Spice with plenty of alcohol parties and loud music
Let stew 1 hour
Add several complaints (the phone variety and
Top with 6 work orders
Add 3 incident reports
*Will serve up to 26 Hall Directors and 1 Director of Residence Life.